I'm doing to see shades hair I hope you guys are okay. I hope you guys have been taking time to heal and to grow and to learn and have been taking care of yourselves. I hope that you have been enjoying the content thus far. I hope that it has been helping you grow and evolve and learn just like it has been helping me develop and evolve and find out who chase you guys like seeing. You men can see that I got glasses I was somewhat worried about getting these after a million one make me seem like Edna from B Incredibles but that I really really like the look I really really like this whole you know circle struggle which I got happening here. Anyway so now what I want to talk about now is my living in vain now this is in fact one of my favourite, among my own absurd eyes that my lips was a she it is my living in vain now this is actually one of my among my beloved Clarke six sister tunes. I absolutely absolutely absolutely adore this song there was a point of time in my life where this song you know was like the soundtrack for my life and I would like it can't be a soundtrack there's only one song but that's the only way I can describe it was just like the soundtrack to my life.
Is my living in vain I went even though I had been on the planet as the church could say I was in the world I was a church girl at heart my connection with God my religious journey my religious balance my spiritual health all of that stuff is is of the utmost value to me personally. I would do anything for him and I'm still learning how exactly you make choices on a daily basis that would be more and restrain my flesh and understand denied my flesh you know unto Him. Because at the end of the day that's the only person who I am trying to and is my dwelling in vain was a song that really just spoke at a way that is deep.
Mike is my living in vain it is my life mean for me personally it was the question that I would ask myself. When I would think about my life like many other individuals in the world I've been through my share of trials and tribulations and for a long time those encounters bothers me and once I say torment to me is like the the constant replay which goes on within our minds or things that have happened things that we said things that we done things we've done to ourselves. You know all that stuff would just replay in my head constantly and it'd be not just a mental torment it will become a psychological torment and we eventually become a cycle that you know a heart type of struggle that I'd have with my heart it would become a struggle I will begin to have within my soul because I start battling myself trying to make things stop and then I simply make matters worse, because I find wrong ways and unhealthy techniques of making things stop because it feels good or I felt great in that instant and it just became a thing no it just became my entire life became an entire cycle repeated over and over and over and over and over again simply continuous it only constantly go on and moving continuously simply replaying like a movie a really really awful fucked up film. They just would never fucking wind and my biggest thing was and that is has always been my belief system and I really don't know where I got this where I have gotten this belief system, but honestly I really don't understand.
I don't know I could not pinpoint the moment in my entire life where you know this is the way I felt but I only know for a very long time this is the way I felt and that song you know it just expressed that it is my living in vain. Certainly not it's not all in vain no because the road is eternal game. Let us go. We proceed to relationships that are bad. We go through you understand fucked up scenarios within our families. We dropped with our friends and proceed to fall outs. We face job problems. We go to beauty criteria. We go through so much we're told how we're supposed to be girls were told men are advised they are supposed to be as guys. Mothers have been told how they're supposed to function as moms and I know that sounds somewhat contradictory especially in the event that you accompany me on Instagram because I make remarks about parents, told much we are told so much but nobody shows us how to deal so if Motivation we encounter these situations once we undergo these trials in those tribulations once we feel like the street is on our shoulders and we feel like everything is out for us.